


Transparent Elegy

by ClockworkFlames



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, I would call this a drabble more than anything tbh, Legion! Steve Harrington AU, Ruined relationship, Schizophrenia, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, an au that my friend has lol, this is just an angst fic based on an au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 02:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20987000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkFlames/pseuds/ClockworkFlames
Summary: Love? A bluff.Steve Harrington had never loved her. She’d let herself get played like the fool she was.Some dark part of her mind decided that she had to get some sort of revenge on Steve. He didn’t even have the right to speak to her anymore. There wasn’t a single piece of the old Meg Thomas left inside her. It’d all been destroyed when he left, taking parts of her heart with him to leave her incomplete.“You did this to me!”---A Legion! Steve × Meg One-Shot/Drabble based on an AU, obviously





	Transparent Elegy

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just a gift for my friend infidelibus as it's her AU. We just kinda ship these two idiots and the idea of a Legion AU came to mind. She hasn't even told me the full story yet for the AU side she has for Steve but I decided to take a guess by writing this lol. Enjoy, I guess.

It’d been a while since she’d truly felt anything. 

Ever since the utter betrayal that she’d gone through at the hands of someone she’d loved, Meg had simply become numb. Her mind had been a storm of thoughts, barraging her endlessly as she tried to make sense of it all. There was never a moment when her brain was silent. It felt like there was a war being waged inside her, her brain and heart fighting against each other. She hated it all. The ginger was desperate for it to all just go **away**.

Long ago, being left behind like this wouldn’t have fazed her much at all. Her high school days had been filled with one-night stands and fuck buddies, no one wanting to stick around with her. The little town she’d lived in was a close-knit community and everyone knew about her mother’s schizophrenia. No one wanted to start a relationship with “the girl who was bound to go crazy” and she’d been forced to accept that. Meg knew that none of it was true - that there was nothing proving that the mental illness would one day become her own - but teenagers were dumb and didn’t care to know the truth.

So the athlete had gone about getting some false sense of love however she could. She didn’t care about gender or anything, desperate for any taste of that emotion she desperately craved. One-night stands were a way for her to have time in someone’s arms, for her to be praised even if it was nothing but sugar-coated lies. Meg had never felt ashamed of what she did even though she knew just what was said about her behind her back. The slander and slut-shaming that everyone thought they hid well. She simply didn’t think it made sense that they did it. Guys were praised when they slept around and the ginger had never spent a night with someone who was dating another. Why should her sex life matter to her classmates if she used protection and had her own set of guidelines? 

The opinions of others didn’t matter to the track star at this point, she’d gotten used to being alone anyway.

Then she’d been dragged into this hellhole, snatched up by the Entity during her early morning run. She’d been ripped away from her mother - the only person who’d loved her unconditionally - and stuck in a neverending nightmare. The ginger had been forced to play nice and make friends with others, watching as the amount of survivors slowly grew in number. Meg had put on an optimistic face and done her best to make friends with all of them, though she’d always kept them at arms-length. Mentioning anything about her past was rare and she never showed her true feelings to anyone. She simply played the role of the headstrong athlete who wasn’t bothered by anything.

It was easy for her to play the role. She’d always pretended that everything was fine around her mother and her time at high school had been filled with nothing but fake friends. Fake optimism was an easy way to keep everyone’s hope up. Meg always threw herself into danger for others, allowing herself to die again and again just so the others would survive. Protecting people was the only thing she was good at, even if it was slowly ripping her apart at the seams. The athlete never knew just how long she’d be able to keep it together for, knowing that there’d be a breaking point sooner or later. It was a strain to carry all the emotional weight of their little rag-tag group. No one had asked her to do it and perhaps no one was even aware that she _ was _ doing it but it was simply a task she put upon herself.

When Steve appeared at the campfire, she never could’ve guessed just how he’d change her life.

At first, they’d started off as nothing more than friends. Meg kept him at a distance just like she had with everyone else and she’d had every intention of keeping him there. The two were similar in nature though, constantly fighting with one another over who was going to run the killer. Clashing had been an inevitability but soon enough everything had morphed into a game for them. The constant shitty nicknames and relay race of passing off the killer to one another in trials was enough to make them close. Steve was slowly worming his way past all her defenses and she hadn’t even started noticing until it was too late.

She wasn’t sure just when she’d started looking at him as something more than a friend. Maybe it had just been a natural transition, something that Meg should’ve expected with the way their relationship had grown. It was absolutely terrifying to her though. Meg had never been in a serious relationship and no one had ever ** _wanted_ ** to be in one with her. Why would Steve - king of his high school and heartthrob of any girl’s dream - want to date a mess with her? The answer was simple.

He wouldn’t want to date her.

With that thought in mind, Meg did what she was best at. The ginger buried her feelings deep inside her. Hiding it all behind a smile and casual talk came easy, though she was always internally worrying that perhaps someone would be able to see through her act. No one ever brought it up though and she’d assumed she was safe. Things went the same as they always did and nothing changed, not really.

So when Steve pulled her to the side and confessed to her, Meg had frozen up. She hadn’t been sure how to react and it must’ve shown on her face. He’d started asking her if everything was okay, worry clear on his face as it seemed like he was about to panic. At some point, the brunet had started rambling out an apology and begging not to let this ruin their friendship. Steve had mentioned just acting as if it never happened, that he’d try asking again some other time. The words kept flowing out of his mouth, never giving her a moment to talk.

That was when Meg finally decided to shut her brain off and let her heart take control for a moment.

Her hands had reached out to grab the front of his shirt, pulling him down with enough force to make him stumble. Meg’s lips covered his own in a kiss as she cut off his rambling. Blue eyes slipped closed as she let herself enjoy the moment, letting go of his shirt just to run her hands through his hair instead. She welcomed the arms that wrapped themselves around her, basking in Steve’s warmth as she was pulled closer to him.

It was during that kiss that she’d decided to give him a chance. Meg opened her heart up for him, let Steve be the first one to know all of her. Their relationship was slow at first, the ginger often needing a little help just to understand what to expect from an actual romantic partner instead of a one-night stand. Her thoughts on relationships were clearly screwed up due to her only experiences but he was kind enough to wait for her. His track record might not have been much better than her but it was easy to see that Steve had had a real relationship before - even if it had been one that ended badly with Nancy.

They talked to each other about everything, slowly opening up to each other as their time in the Realm grew. Nights were spent cuddled up against one another, simply talking until they fell asleep in each others arms. Nothing had changed when it came to trials. They were just as effective as always though sometimes Meg would sneak in a quick kiss whenever possible. It was everything the ginger could’ve wanted and more.

Then it happened.

It was a trial against Legion and they were stuck running through Ormond Resort. Claudette and Jake had already been killed by Julie, leaving Meg and Steve alone to finish things up. There was only one generator left and the athlete was doing her best to finish it. She hadn’t seen Steve in a while but she simply assumed he must’ve been running the killer around. They’d be out soon enough anyway, especially with how fast the generator was starting to run.

The ginger paused in her actions as she heard movement, pulling her hands away from the generator as she crouched down. Her heartbeat was raging in her ears as ocean blue eyes searched for the killer. Meg hadn’t heard Steve get injured so perhaps he’d lost Julie without meaning to? She wasn’t sure but her worry soon disappeared as the brunet came into view. Smiling from ear to ear, she stood up before quickly making her way over to him. Her hands came up to grab one of his, gently pulling him towards the generator as she spoke about being able to escape soon enough.

Steve held fast though, his feet planted firmly on the ground. The lack of movement caused the athlete to stop, eyebrows furrowing together as she turned to face him once more. He wasn’t looking at her, eyes downcast as he pulled his hand from her grip. Meg moved to ask just what he was doing only for her breath to catch in her throat as she saw the glimmer of the knife in his hand. There was no way that Julie had dropped the weapon, knowing from years of throwing pallets on killers that they **never** let go of their torture device of choice.

It was then that she noticed movement in the corner of her eye, her head whipping to the side only to see Julie watching from a distance. Dread filled the ginger as she tried to figure out just what was going on. Steve shifted then and Meg turned her attention to him again. She moved to speak once more only to watch as he swung the pocket knife at her. The ginger was fast enough to dodge the attack yet the action was enough to tell her everything she needed to know.

Meg was too shocked to move after that, standing still as the next swing easily dug into her shoulder. When Steve yanked out the pocket knife, the athlete reached out and grabbed his wrist. Her grip was tight on him as she stared up at him. She was still trying to process it all yet she shoved it all to the back of her mind for now. All she knew in that moment was that if she was going to die by his hand, the ginger was going out on her own terms. 

If he was going to kill her, Steve better make it memorable.

The brunet did just that, taking her down with ease before it became a blood bath. It wasn’t as if Meg did anything to fight back. She simply laid out in the snow as the man she’d loved with all her heart slaughtered her with his own hands. Meg couldn’t tell just when the tears had started - if they were his or her own - but she simply shut her eyes and took her last breath.

Returning to the campfire was hard. No one knew what to say and Nancy was struggling to come to terms with Steve having changed sides. It was rough on Nancy as she had known Steve before the Realm and had dated him before Meg ever had. The other girl had seen him protect kids in their little town and beat monsters up with a baseball bat. Even so, it was clear just how big of a toll it had taken on the ginger.

Meg didn’t bother trying to hide behind optimism anymore, locking herself away from everyone completely. She never spoke anymore and rarely moved from where she was. For the first few days all Meg could do was silently cry as she stared into the campfire. Sleep was an impossibility for her as she continuously waited for Steve to appear from the surrounding forest to wrap her up in those arms she’d become so accustomed to and apologize - to proclaim it as some sick joke.

It never happened though.

The ginger was rarely pulled into trials for a while but when she was, Meg still worked to make sure the others escaped. She’d given up on herself though. Fixing generators and running killers was easy for her, she could do them all even with her brain in disarray. Whenever the doors were opened, the athlete would wait to make sure everyone escaped. It was once the other survivors left that things shifted though. The ginger would simply stand and wait, watching the ground slowly crack beneath her feet as a familiar glowing orange would seep out. Meg welcomed the pain of the Entity stabbing her through, letting it wrap her up and consume her whole.

She was already dead inside so why should she bother with leaving the trials alive?

A part of her wondered if any of the killers had ever seen her waiting for death. Had any of them found it interesting and decided to mention it to the others in their ranks? Did the killers even speak to one another? Was it possible that what she was doing to herself had reached Steve’s ears? What did it matter if it had?

Meg knew it didn’t matter. Steve had already made his choice. She’d stayed the same, foolishly thinking that nothing would change between them. All it had done was make him leave her behind, abandoning her as if she were simply used goods. There had never been a moment when she’d noticed him slowly slipping away. The woman had been blissfully unaware of it all. It felt worse than it ever had back in high school since she’d invested herself in him, had told herself that Steve would stay by her side. The athlete should’ve known better. When had anything good ever stayed in her life?

Her mind always drifted off to thoughts of him, wondering just what he was doing. Was he happier with Legion? Why had he left her? Had she done something wrong or did her never really like her to begin with? Try as she might, Meg was never able to block those intrusive thoughts out. Her mind raced with hundreds of scenarios. Maybe she could’ve done** this** to stop him or perhaps **that **action might’ve kept him with her. She was ripping herself apart, questioning everything she’d ever done. At some point, she’d been fixated on just why it had been Julie there in the trial when she’d been killed. 

Had… Had Steve fallen in love with ** _her_ ** instead?

She let those thoughts run her life, sinking further into herself. The other survivors had desperately tried to bring her back to herself but it was simply impossible. Meg was a shell of her former self. There was nothing left of the energetic athlete, simply a body wearing the familiar face of someone that they’d considered their friend. Even now, she always seemed to be in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation as she continued to spiral down.

Another trial in Haddonfield was upon her and it was then that she felt dread hit her full force. It was exactly the same as the moment before Steve had turned on her. A part of her finally realized that ever since he’d joined Legion, the ginger had never run into her former love. The others had been in trials against him but never her. Meg had never even considered just how odd it was but that didn’t matter now.

The entire trial, Meg absolutely refused to run the killer the moment that Nancy confirmed that it was Steve. The ginger went out of her to avoid looking at what Steve had become. Blue eyes had never caught sight of him though she had heard him closing in at some points. Meg had sunken to the point that she’d hide in lockers just to avoid him. Facing him was simply something she couldn’t bring herself to do. Everyone was slowly taken out one by one as generators were barely completed. She’d only heard three pop to life as the lights flickered on to signal they were complete.

She was on the second floor of the Myers’ house when she heard Nancy scream out one final time. As she heard the familiar noises of the girl getting pulled up by the Entity, Meg realized that she was the last survivor alive. That was enough for the ginger to pull herself away from the generator she’d been working on. Standing up, she stood in silence for a moment before her eyes turned to the window behind her. Meg didn’t think twice as she silently climbed through and stood on top of the wooden awning.

Her red hair stood out like a beacon against the cold blues and muted whites of the area. The gentle breeze blew her hair around with ease and Meg absentmindedly wondered when she’d stopped braiding her hair. She’d stopped caring about it when Steve left. Trying to make herself look presentable just reminded her of his ridiculous hair routine and always brought on that sinking feeling in her stomach.

It wasn’t long before Meg finally caught sight of Steve. He stood on the front lawn of the Myers’ house, staring up at her as if he’d seen a ghost. Perhaps he had. Meg knew she was a ghost of her former self and she probably looked like shit. None of that mattered though. Neither one of them could find it in themselves to take the first step. Their eyes were simply locked onto one another as silence filled the area.

She recognized that look in his eyes. It was the familiar gleam he got in his eyes whenever he wanted to say something but was too nervous to speak. Meg’s hands clenched at her sides as she found herself filling up with a feeling that she hadn’t felt in an eternity. The mute depression and unending sadness was pushed deep down inside her as anger took over for a moment.

How ** _dare_ ** he be nervous now. There hadn’t been any hesitation inside him when he’d decided to stab that pocket knife deep into her flesh. He hadn’t even considered what leaving might do to her. Steve had tossed her away like one of his cigarette butts and seemingly hadn’t cared about her. Now that he was forced to face her again, it all suddenly seemed to matter to him. 

Steve had abandoned her just like she’d always feared. After all those sweet promises and reassurances, Meg had been left behind and forced to pick up the shattered fragments of her heart alone. The world had caved in on her as she’d been faced with the realization that she must simply be unlovable. Everyone she’d ever cared for had abandoned her when given the chance. That meant that the problem **had** to be her... right?

“You did this to me.”

Her voice was a whisper on the wind, blue eyes staring down at Steve. It was all his fault. He’d gotten her hope up with fake smiles and honey-soaked words. All of her walls had been torn down by him. She’d spent all of her life building up her defenses to protect herself and the brunet had destroyed them all. Steve had made himself a home in her heart and even though he’d smashed it to pieces, it was still filled with nothing but him. Meg despised the fact that she still loved him. 

He’d seemingly moved on fine without her. Steve had all of Legion to hang out with. They had become his new friends and perhaps one of them had taken the place she’d once had in his heart. Had he ever even shed a tear for her? For the relationship that he’d set ablaze and turned his back on as it turned to ash? No, Meg doubted he had. It seemed like she was the only one of them who suffered through it - who missed what they had.

Love? A bluff.

Steve Harrington had never loved her. She’d let herself get played like the fool she was.

Some dark part of her mind decided that she had to get some sort of revenge on Steve. Meg planned on letting herself die again this trail but there was no way in hell she’d let him touch her. He didn’t even have the right to speak to her anymore. There wasn’t a single piece of the old Meg Thomas left inside her. It’d all been destroyed when he left, taking parts of her heart with him to leave her incomplete.

“You did this to me!” she screamed, making sure Steve would be able to hear her this time. Her voice seemed to startle him, the brunet jolting a bit from the shock. Meg glared down at him as tears began to form in her eyes. How funny. She’d thought that she’d run out of tears long ago but it seemed like looking at his face was enough to fix that problem. A broken sob left the ginger as she threw her arms out before hissing out, “You fucking ** _ruined_ ** me, Hairball.”

Meg didn’t give him a chance to speak up. Instead she did what Steve was best at and turned her back on him. The heels of her feet hung off the edge of the awning, reminding her of the empty air behind her. That was fine though, the ginger had planned on ending this trial like she had every other one since he’d left her - with her death. Taking a deep breath, Meg then did what she was best at.

She fell hard and alone, just like she had when it came to her love for him.

It wasn’t a long fall but it felt like an eternity. Gravity was quick to drag her down as the ground rushed up to meet her. In the back of her mind, Meg wondered if this was enough to be revenge against the boy who’d crushed her heart beneath his feet. Would this death be enough to make a place for herself in his brain since there’d apparently never been room in his heart? She could only hope. Her head hit the ground with a crack and everything went dark. 

For once, it seemed as if the Entity had decided to grant her some form of mercy by allowing her death to be quick. 


End file.
